Anger

OK, so I have to redeem myself after looking at that last post a few times. Sounds like I'm really an angry person and although I've made up with my husband (on that issue), I do have an anger issue to explore.
I was thinking about this the other day while I was checking out at the grocery store. I like to go through the self-checkout line since I typically bring my own bags to the store. I learned that this was necessary after trying to go through the regular line just a few times. When I asked the baggers to use my cloth bags, it was as if I'd asked them to break the law. They were boggled and usually continued putting my groceries into plastic bags while looking at me curiously. Better still, I lost two of my $5 reusable bags (reusablebags.com) in one of those lines. I guess the bagger shoved them aside in favor of the more sturdy plastic bags.
So, I'm in the self-check line*. Of course, there the scales are tared to the plastic bags (magically) so that if I place my own bags on the scale before beginning my checkout then I am sternly lectured by the machine, "Please remove all items or objects from the scanner and wait." Thus, I have to line up all my groceries on the scale, bagging them only AFTER I have paid. I've noticed that this causes some consternation amongst the customers behind me in line. Or maybe it's just me. I always feel pressured. I chide myself not to worry cause I know I am much faster at self-checking than the average person in the line.
However, Saturday...oh, Saturday...do NOT go to the grocery store on Saturday unless it is before 10 am, you idiot (that's me). Oh! So, on Saturday I went to the store at 3:30 pm, plopped $85 worth of groceries in my cart, and headed for the self-check line. Hmm...long line...When I finally get my turn I notice the people behind me actually edging up towards me as I'm scanning my items. I have several problems with the checking out process - like when the scale doesn't recognize that I've set a greeting card down (cause it's too light, I guess). At some point, I find myself banging my fist down in a place where I don't think I'm going to do any damage. And I don't. At this point, I have an inward mental check where I realize that I might actually be one of the more angry people in the store and it's all been self inflicted. No one has actually said anything to me. It's just my constant need to hurry, coupled with the idea that the people behind me are mad cause I'm not finished with $85 worth of groceries yet.
Finally I pay. And then I get to bag the groceries. Miraculously, almost on cue with the thoughts in my head, the people behind me start trying to scan their stuff (see, I really can tell what people's intentions are!). I glance over my shoulder and explain to them that they'll have to wait til I have removed all of my stuff from the scale. Never mind that my cart is actually blocking their access to the scanner. They were willing to work around that. They disregard what I've said and try to scan anyway, only to have the machine blurt at them, "Please remove all items or objects from the scanner and wait."
Ha! WAIT! Now this is a novel concept. And maybe this gets to the heart of the problem. At least for this day (Saturday). People are generally rude and have no patience, I think. I find it particularly ironic that I, a very impatient person, have come to recognize this. What was their big hurry? If you were in a big hurry, came to the line and saw that there was a huge wait, wouldn't you maybe ask the person with $85 of groceries in her cart if she'd mind if you went around? Seeing as how you had to get to the hospital to see your grandmother one last time before she died. Not so you could make it to a cocktail party on time...No, that one could wait a couple more minutes, couldn't it?
So, this is my problem. I really don't like it when things don't go my way (hence the last post on Control). And things didn't go my way at the grocery store for many reasons:
1) There were too many people there to start with.
2) I had to cross the store several times 'cause things organic are not grouped with things inorganic.
3) I somehow accumulated 85 dollars (did I mention this? There are only 2 of us in our household) worth of stuff in a simple trip. I have to go to the store again Wednesday.
4) Someone apparently told other people that the self-checkout line is faster.
5) Other people just do not bring their own bags so they don't understand those of us who do. The grocery store doesn't try to make it easier on us, either. In fact, it's easier to use bags that the store had to pay for!

So, that's that.

*Someone once told me that it was inappropriate to start a sentence with the word "So." So, I try to do this as often as possible when writing.